He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
