just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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