you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
