Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
