Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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