i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
