I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
