so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize