Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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