I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
