Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
