Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
