She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
