i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
