i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
