Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
