Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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