It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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