Porn is love you can see.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
