I am puke
operation harelip BJ is a go
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
