Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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