Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
