i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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