Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
