forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
