You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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