kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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