walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
