it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
