am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
