Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
