Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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