I'm really into asian looking animals
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
