Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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