shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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