Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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