How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
