if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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