you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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