Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
