why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
