If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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