I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
