Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
