we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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