DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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