My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
