The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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