so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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