my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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