Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize