Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
