DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
