I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
