So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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