There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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