shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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