carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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