You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
In America we eat man semen.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
