just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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