Where is the hickey?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
