He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
