He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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